The Sinister Moose

I have watched, and loved every episode of Top Gear from the United Kingdom which I can find. From the early days when it was called "Top Gear Extra" to the present series. The Stig, has changed, and they have shuffled the presenters a little, but over all the show and it's hosts simply work, now that the cast has found it's pace.

They are not perfect, often quoting the shows unofficial motto, "Ambitious, but rubbish." They are often unkind about America (well, Jeremy is at any rate), and seem to be only just polite to one another. Frankly brutal about cars which are deserving, and perhaps a little heavy with the praise on cars which are only moderately good.

Love them or hate them, the chemistry between the hosts; Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May, brings a quality to the show that has yet to be duplicated, and attempts to recreate the show in other countries are proving to be less than stellar, perhaps even "Ambitious but rubbish."

The Australian version of Top Gear simply isn't as good, and I've watched every episode of that which I can find. Apparently they have recently made some changes to the hosts, and it's possible they can find the correct combination to make the show fly.

Unfortunately, one of the things that makes the UK version so good is the variety of cars, and topics on which the hosts argue. The Aussie version (at first) lacked the feeling that the hosts were friends just out having a laugh. The UK version has taken a while to cultivate the "Just some blokes out cocking about" feeling that makes the show enjoyable. The Aussie version lacked this feeling completely. It could be a difference in the sense of humor between the Brits and the Aussies, but that really doesn't explain why an American would enjoy one over the other.

Right now the UK version is possibly one of the biggest shows in the world, and it has a right to be, since the producers work to make it relavant around the world. While the news portion of the UK version is mostly localized, it's still resonates with folks in other parts of the world. And above all else the show is fun.

And now, we have Top Gear America.  Oh, goodie. Sorry if I sound a bit sarcastic, and jaded about this, but it is destined to fail. I am willing to admit that it is early in production, and that there are some kinks to be worked out, but they really blew the call on the hosts. Even after watching the first five episodes, I can't help but feel that there is more failure to come.

The cast, in my opinion is wrong. They're wrong for the parts, and they're wrong for the show. Please don't misunderstand, the original cast included Adam Carrola who I detest, and I was relieved to hear he would not be among the hosts of the American version. But still, they picked three guys that are too similar in age. Tanner Faust (I guess that's how it's spelled) who is a drifting racer, Adam Ferrar (again probably mispelled) who is a comic, and Rutledge Wood who is from Georgia and is a redneck from the best I can tell. The humor is flat, Tanner is practically a flatliner, Rutledge acts about 15 years old, and combined the cast makes for a lack luster combination of whoots from Rutledge, Expletives from Adam, and praise for crappy vehicles from Tanner.

But the fail doesn't stop there, there is also significant failure on the part of the producers to meet the same high level production quality as the UK version. The camera angles are bad, the cameras shake like crazy, and the American version of the show completely lacks the artistic shot quality of the UK version. Yes, I know the American version doesn't have the same insane budget that the UK version must have, but still, the production values I am talking about are mostly special effects, and equipment quality.

Another failure point, in my opinion, is the feel of the show. It's difficult to pinpoint this feeling to a specific problem, but scripting would be the primary concern. The UK show doesn't feel scripted (although I know it is), where the American version feels far too scripted. In fact there are several times while watching the American version, I could actually feel the script writer actually making notes like "Pause for laughter". And other times, the weakness of the hosts of the American version, just feel pathetic. It is as if the audience for the American version, has to be prodded with a stick to laugh at a joke, and even then it's timid nervous laughter.

I also can't help but notice the lingering shots of the audience, when the hosts are shooting "in studio" segments. It feels a bit like the director saying "Hey look at all the people that turned up." In the last episode, I felt like it was shot somewhere in Asia, because of the high number of the Asian persuasion that were shown repeatedly. Yes, I know California has a high number of people of Asian decent, but damn.

I feel that the producers and the History Channel, are cutting short the potential of this program. There is no reason that it cannot stand on it's own, apart from the original UK version, except for the hosts, and production values, and scripting, and the audience.... well, maybe I was being overly optimistic.

While I am pointing out failures of the American version, I cannot avoid mentioning "The Stig". In the UK version, the mysterious "Tamed Racing Driver", has become a star in his own right. Although they have had their share of controversy with the most recent Stig writing a book (which was contrary to his contract). The Stig is a major character in this show, and is not simply a device to pedal a car around the track.

In the Amercian version, the hosts seem to unsure of what to say or do about The Stig. The UK version, had a great deal of success playing up the mysterious factor of The Stig, and also have a great deal of fun at The Stig's expense. In the American version, The Stig might as well be Tanner Faust. The American Stig is a tiny person, and his helmet seems to be three sizes to large. The American Stig also doesn't seem to be as competent as the UK Stig was, and also the Amercian Stig seems to have no attitude.

This has made me rethink my window sticker on my car which reads, "I am the Stig", because I don't want people thinking I'm the American Stig because he is quite frankly weak sauce.

Finally, I have to say that I will continue to give Top Gear America a chance, but because the show has been crippled with commercials, and inane hosts without personalities, I find my self having difficulty in really supporting it. I don't want the show to die, but I very much want the show fixed. The UK version of the show, is a full running hour. The American version is maybe 40 minutes because of commercials. If they need to make the show an hour and a half, in order to fill the format, then so be it.

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